I was just reading Joe's blog. I didn't realize that he had won some poetry contest that he said he put in a blog entry a month before. So I go check and I find it. It is a pretty good poem, but thenn again, I am not exactly qualified to make that type of assessment. (but I still think it was a good poem) Anyway, I also read his entry where he was talking (typing?) about the pros and cons of the colleges he is looking at. I felt bad because I didn't know that he wanted to be a journalist. I mean, how terrible is that?! He is one of my best and oldest friends and I don't even know what he wants to be! I feel awful. I was also suprised by my recent decision that I might go into a journalism field. I had decided this before I read his blog, so it was a little wierd. (I don't want anyone to say that I am some obsessed, stalking, psyco-freak...cause, you know, I'm not) I know that I will never be half the journalist that Joe will be, but I like to think that I am talented enough to get a good job as a journalist. I am not sure what kind of journalist I want to be yet, but I would love to do some international work. (but I bet you have to be very good to get that job) I also want to do some photography. I love to take pictures. I am much better at taking pics of animals, nature, buildings, you know, things that aren't people. I am really not very good at taking pics of people. Mom thinks I should major in journalism and minor in biology so that I could get a job as a scientific journalist. You know, like National Geographic or the natural disaster stories you see in Time. It would be pretty cool, but I am starting to edge away from the thought of being anything related to science. It kind of scares me, because my whole life I knew I would go into a science field. My parents are doctors, my grandfather is a retired nuclear chemist, my grandpa and grandma both grew up on farms (though my grandpa is a minister). The only person who didn't have anything to do with science was my nana, and she was an English teacher. Wierd, huh?

One thing that makes me feel a little better is the fact that I entered my short story from creative writing, "R.O.T.C.", in the National Scholastic Writing Contest. It won a spot at the regional level and will go on to the national level of judging...in NEW YORK CITY!! The winner of each category (short story, short short story, poem, novel, art, photograph, essay, etc.) at the national level gets to go to New York to exibit their work, recieve a scholarship, and have it published. I know I won't win at the national level, but it is pretty cool that I even won on the regional level. 2,500 entries were submitted in my region (no idea what my region is) and I was one of the 75 that won and goes on to national. I was totally stunned. I still am. The story wasn't really that good. To tell the truth, I didn't have to work that hard on it. The idea just came to me and I wrote it down. I edited it, (several times, like a good writer does) read it to my peers to see what they thought of it, let Mrs. Smith grade it and proofread it, filled out the applications to the contest, edited it again for posterity, and sent it. I only did the things that every writer does before publishing a work or making it public.

I am also excited about the new opportunity that was recently revealed to me through Mrs. Smith and Mr. Peacock. The Hickory Daily Record is going to start a teen page in the paper and they need teen writers to submit columns. I can write about anything I want and I get paid $10.00 a column to do it. I love to write and this is so cool. Of course, I don't get the Hickory paper, but it will still be cool. Now I just need to think of ideas for a good column. If you think of any good ideas for a column, leave me a comment please!!

One of my main concerns is that when I get to college, I will turn in a paper/essay/column and get a terrible grade or report or whatever. I mean, what if my writing really sucks? I want to not only have a good, respectable job, but I want to be great at it. I want to be the best. (which is entirely improbable, but who cares?! oh yeah...me) I want to be humorous and serious and factual and actually know what I am writing about. I am getting tired of writing papers on my opinion. My opinion seems to always be correct. I also find it hard to get a fair grade because my teachers in the past have thought very highly of me (no I'm not bragging and yes I was, am, and will always be a teachers pet...it comes almost naturally for me to be a goody-goody now) This is why I can't wait to have Harb next year because I know that she will assess me and my work using a tough but fair scale. If I can get a B+ on a Hard Harb paper, then I know that I am an okay writer and ready for college. If I get an A or even an A- then I know that I am a teachers pet (not likely with Harb) or a good writer that will do well in college and any future career in journalism.

Now that I am finished worrying, I am going to be excited for a few minutes. Next Saturday, Jordan, Adds, and I are all going to Cary to see Joe in Seussical. I am told that Joe is Yurdle the Turtle. I can't wait! This will be Addie's first trip to Cary, first time seeing his house, and first time seeing his new church, the Kirk. I have no idea about Jordan, but it might be his first time, too. We miss you Joe!! Congrats on your poem! (cash is so much better than a dinky rose, which is all I got at the awards ceremony in Charlotte for my short story)

a good day...

yesterday I had an awesome day. I don't know why I didn't type about it yesterday when it actually happened...but it doesn't matter because I am typing about it now. anyway, I had a fabulous day. I was happy and talkative and funny and helpful. I love feeling helpful. it makes me feel good, like I am actually getting something accomplished. well, that was my day. i don't really feel like typing about this anymore... can't wait for the lock-in and then the trip to Cary! yay!

I remember when I, and all of us, really, used to want to stay up late. I can't remember why, but I do remember begging my mom, "Please? Just 15 more minutes! Pleeeeease?!!!" I wonder if I thought that maybe if I could stay up until just 10 minutes later than my bedtime, that maybe the world would change. I mean, maybe it would be a great big party. Things would happen, people would come alive, so to speak. I, as a child is wont to do, percieved the time after bedtime as a world filled with magic and spirit. I never questioned myself. I never analyzed my reasoning. I just knew. You remember the time. I know you do. When things were simpler and our lives were lived in the present, not based on what we wanted our future to be. I miss being able to just let go of reality and slip into a world of imagination, contemplation, meditation, and a kind of naïve Utopian bliss that can only be found in the mind of a child.

false hope

searching for colleges sucks. everything i do now is because it will look good on a college application or it will make me seem more wel-rounded or colleges like people who do that kind of stuff. i hardly ever get to do anything for me anymore. i miss me. i miss 'Lis time. i haven't even done any actual college visits, but i started pro and con lists for each college i want to check out. and of course i get like 4 or 5 letters a week from colleges i have never heard of. the little ones named after people who founded them and stuff. i get a lot of stuff from Ohio. it almost seems to me that the ones i get letters from are the ones that i am least likely to go to. i mean, the ones that really matter don't contact you. you contact them. i mean, you don't see Davidson sending out letters that tell their majors, student-to-teacher ratio, or where they rated in the US News and World Report College Search Dictionary, do you? no. because they know that if they send out letters, little people, average people, people like me, will get their hopes up that they actually stand a chance of getting in there....





but damn, that would be so so so so great. i totally won't get in, but it would be, like, the highlight of my day if i did. *sigh* i think the stress is making me hallucinate...oooohhh!! that's what Alias is about tonight!! yay! Alias! i love that show...wow...that sounded pretty shallow...but i really like that show!!

It was inevitable. It was like that feeling of being outside in a rainfall without a coat or umbrella. You fight getting wet for a while and then you just surrender to it and you realize it feels pretty nice. You wonder, why do we fight the things we fight when giving in to them isn't so bad at all?

life as we (I) know it

so i just got back from that PRIDE card ceremony. it never fails in making me feel like a character off Leave It To Beaver...golly! i sure am proud! i worked hard for this little piece of cheaply painted plastic and Mother and Father are even going to take me out for some ice cream later! ick. i mean it. if we did so well this past semester, why do they force us to sit though a ceremony that nobody wants to be at, is over 300 people long, and soooooo boring?!! ugh! oh well, it's over now, and i get out of school 5 minutes early every day and i can exempt my exams. now that is a reward. we missed you on the ski trip, joe, and it was really wierd not sitting beside you at the ceremony...you lucky dog!

blog...niiice

omg how cool. blogging is fun...snaps to whoever told me bout it! now i can be like...omg, Addie, look! I have my own blog! isn't it cool!? isn't it? isn't it cool? isn't it addie? huh?